A Stay at the Hope Lodge
It feels like years since things have felt somewhat normal,
even though, as I write this it has been less than 4 months since my mom went
for what we thought was a routine small procedure, only to be told that they
suspected cancer at that time. It felt like
someone had poured an entire bucket of ice cubes over my head and I remember
feeling numb. Cancer. It is a big, scary word. For awhile I was scared to even let myself
say it. Cancer. It’s a big, scary word that can be worked
with, dealt with, treated and yes…. cured.
My mom, the brave one, the one who doesn’t complain, the
patient and kind one. My mom is my best
girlfriend and my mom. Even yet if I
allow myself to dwell too much on the fact of what she has to deal with it
bothers me almost to the point of melt down.
But that doesn’t help anyone, now does it? So, no… try to not think about it too
much. Stay in a positive mood. “A Merry Heart Doeth Good Like a Medicine”,
Proverbs 17:22. A Bible verse that
provided my mom with a lot of comfort during her first bout with cancer, and
one that still provides her with much comfort even now. Taking the Biblical advice is wise.
On May 31st 2013 my mom had surgery to remove the
tumor. It was a big surgery, taking
around 6 hours. I don’t think I have
ever been more nervous, anxious or stressed out. I remember feeling totally helpless. I remember feeling so much strife, that all
emotions and thoughts and feelings seemed very distorted to me. I was so thrilled to see the surgeon in the
waiting area, telling us the operation had went well, my headache went from
headache to room spinning dizziness. I
have seen my mom with make up and fancy clothing- however I don’t think she’s
ever looked as beautiful as she did to me in the recovery room, still groggy
but smiling.
For 6 days after the surgery my dad and I stayed at the Hope
Lodge, a place for people with cancer
and / or their caregivers to stay, for free.
While not quite a hotel (eg. Having to clean one’s own room), the Hope
Lodge was still very nice, with many areas to watch tv, get away and/or
socialize. But what struck me more than
the place itself, were the people. In
many ways the Hope Lodge was life changing for me.
On the “outside” – a lot of people are consumed by
possessions and/or appearance of things.
Things seem more superficial, on the “outside”. I was reminded several times of one of my
“friend”s who, the previous week had told me in so many words that it was
alright for men to treat her rudely when she was heavier. Based on that statement it would appear that
her entire self worth were based on the size of her pants. Meanwhile at the Hope Lodge – these people
are focused on one thing. The fight
against the demon cancer. It seemed
obvious that for a lot, if not all of the people – comfort and health took
priority and looks were a mere secondary to not only health and comfort, but
also attitude. There was an underlying
camaraderie, and people seemed truly to be looking out for each other, as
fellow houseguests brought together with this thing in common.
The other thing that seemed more obvious at the Hope Lodge
then in the real world was the idea that everyone has a story. Who people are,
where they’re from what they’re going through and perhaps – the most obvious –
how they’re dealing with things – is all very real and important. From the man who would spend hours at a time,
seemingly in one position working on puzzles in the community room – to the
lady who enjoyed getting in on free luncheons
… every has a story and
everyone’s story is important.
My mom is recovering slowly and I hope and pray to never
have to spend time as someone staying at a hope lodge ever again – but I also
know that I will never forget it.
