Are politeness and common courtesy slowly dissolving out of society?  As someone who enjoys live music – I like going to see bands, and what’s more – I like to dance.  I dance my own way, and have fun.  Recently though I’ve noticed some of the men at these particular bars and their behaviors…  so I would like to write the following guide for some of these hapless and irritating types.   You may thank me later.

11.)     If you would like to get my attention:  please feel welcome to touch my shoulder, back or arm.   These are all appropriate and fine places to touch me, because after all we are strangers.   After such, feel welcome to smile and introduce yourself.  A simple “Hi, my name is…..”  is fine.  This approach is far superior to grabbing my a*s or trying to clutch my chest like some kind of drunk/zombie pervert.  If I’m in a good mood I’ll walk away from you or ignore you.   If I’m in a bad mood I’ll tell you to get off of me , and if I’m in a bad mood and you persist – you may end up getting kicked. 

22.)     Coming up behind me (again a total stranger) and trying to dry hump me is…. In a word, disgusting.   I don’t know you, and, actually I don’t even care how drunk you are – what in your warped little mind said that this was a cool move?  Did I ask you to touch me?   No.    I do not want your junk anywhere near my junk.  You will not get a favorable response from me.  And then some of these guys have the brass tacks to try this – travel around the dance floor, girl to girl trying to either hang off of them or dry hump.   You look like a total dumbas* when you do this, you look like an unfixed dog trying to hump legs. 

33.)    I know, some people like to indulge in a few drinks – nothing wrong with that - and I know the dance floor can get pretty crowded – but seriously, it is not so crowded that you have to step on my feet in order to get where you’re going.   My feet are directly under me.  Additionally – while I know it can be tricky to make your way through a crowded floor – you seriously do not need to mow me over if you slowly move through the crowd chances are I’ll see you and move out of your way.   I’m pretty polite that way. 

And it doesn’t stop there at the bar.  Or with men.

44.)    Fellow drivers – your turn signal is located conveniently  near your steering wheel.  Please utilize it.  I mean I guess I’ll figure out that you’re turning after you come to an almost complete stop in the middle of the road without it – but too many times I’ve almost gone around some of you in the direction of your turn. While we’re at it, let’s revisit traffic lights and their meanings.  Green means go, yellow means caution and red means stop.   Red doesn’t mean stop only if you sort of want to. 

55.)     Fellow shoppers – just because you have a cart doesn’t mean that you can try to mow over other shoppers who don’t/   The fact that some of you drive a car or other vehicle to get to the store – frankly scares me.   Also would it really hurt some of you to let me or others cut ahead when we only have an item or 2?   Or are struggling to hold a heavy item whilst you have a huge cart load of stuff?  This certainly isn’t required, but sure would be nice. 

66.)    Parents – please don’t expect other shoppers or other diners to look after your kid(s).  Like the parents I saw at a restaurant – let their kid run, roll around on the floor, play with the backs of chairs that other people were sitting in, all while calmly finishing their dinner.   I realize you must want a night out and that managing your kid all the time is probably stressful – but please, hire a sitter or take some responsibility.  Additionally – I enjoy being out.  I don’t like listening to your kid wail through the store.

77.)    Fellow gym users: kindly wipe down the equipment.   I really don’t want to use it with your sweat all over it and I don’t think that it is my responsibility to wipe up your mess.  Also please clear your stuff out of the shower.  Take it with you.  It uses up the space where I could place my bath items which I take out of shower when I’m done.  If I’m in a good mood – I’ll leave them there- figuring your insensitivity to be an oversight on your part.   If I’m in a bad mood I might even throw them away for you – since you cannot seem to be troubled to care for your items.  Additionally please cover your cough or sneeze.  I don’t wish to get your cold or whatever. 

88.)    People everywhere – please keep your word and if you cannot, please let others know.  It really speaks to what sort of person you are. 

I’m not a cynical person, even despite this list…. And I know there are great and decent people too, but these are things I’ve noticed for awhile – that have irritated me.  What do you think?   Is it worse in America?  Or are rude people everywhere?